Drowning

There's nothing left to hope, not another
Each seed is there rotting to a different color
Then from the window I saw and felt so light
Lighter than the bud could get me or the bottle that was empty
The sight of you had me cramped until I walked up and said hi

Each night was me and you remember
I could watch and listen to you be, forever
Then one day life came and made me an offer
One to which I refused, as no dawn or dream is worth being without you

Remember each day we count down to the day we get made
I never felt so good
Recall each May, we celebrate the day we began this thing called me and you
Now it's getting late and only beeps are left to stay
I'm back to the rotting hopes on the shelf

I'm reaching wide to grab a good tomorrow
hoping that hope will spare me the sorrow
The flight I felt when with you, cannot be drowned by the buds and drinks

I'm starting to see there's no turning back
They want to end the beeps and put your heart in a bag
Now it will beat in the chest of another, it is time I say goodbye to my lover

But can you hear my voice and recall the days we have spent, each time
The dancing in the fields and the bad lyrics we filled each night sky
The jumping and the pool, the walks with the moon
How can I get through life with no you

I'm joining you on this climb to forever, it will be you and I
There's no point waiting for the rainbow after the rain has stopped its yawn
We were meant to be forever and we are going to be together
I'm taking this leap knowing I can't swim, it will not be long

With this leap I have made, I stare in amaze as I sink with no struggle
Getting closer to you by each bubble I see a light... deep in the hustle
It is you with your smile, in yours I will drown. What a pretty sight to end this struggle.

Zombie of my Pride

 

I’ll be there on the bright side helplessly
Whispering carelessly
Swearing I will never leave you all alone

Now I’m here on the dark side trembling
Crying to the empty stone
Breath stolen by the fact I’m by my own

I never thought I will be the one dreaming
Creeping towards each day
Murdered by your dismay, I can’t make it on my own

I’m at the stream, by the rainbow coloring
Crossing T’s with empty inks
Stolen dreams and yesteryear
Filling bowls with so much fears
I need you for my own

I had to steal from the morning, its rising glow
For each step so no one knows
That you gone means no more glow, I’m a zombie of my pride

I can’t believe you have decide to go wondering
Jumping hoops and clamoring
Death has come my way

I take this plunge to the stream of mystery
Have decided to go drowning
Swimming far through the sea because I can’t live on my own


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Why Wait Death, Why?

Tolerance is the verb that qualifies my existence
The daily struggle to show any form of life persists,
With the feeling of being ostracized from my own being
I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of it

Here is a series of chances, which mine sucks
Not believing I was dealt the worst hand ever
But I can’t think otherwise
Why bother on whom has it worst, when I wish to have it better

Death is a gift I envy, he visits way too many
Leaving me craving and wondering when my turn will be?
Suicide seems like an option to living
Until you start to wonder the best way to go

Which path will be painless and swift
Then you realize, you don't even have the guts to try
It takes hell amount of courage to end a life
It takes more than hell that amount to end yours

Many see it differently, and with reasons that stand
But since I never had the courage to make that move
I stand afar seeing it my way
The man afraid to try

My doors are ajar though
A welcome mat placed and a welcome bowl laced
When he steps in one thing is certain
I will cling to his leg because death is not leaving until he blesses me

Cliff Edge End

I always thought I was strong
Able to control every thought

Always thought I could be sound
In the rage of his hounds

It never crossed my mind of this day
I will stand happy, yet dismay

I have given up sanity
Thrown away tranquility to be here

Here he goes, screaming and knocking again
Yet I continue, stoned towards the edge

There is no turning back now
I have gone too far, far down south

I reach the edge craving the me that was dead
Every moment after this will be one I won't miss

I wish I can turn back the clock and walk away
Instead of being here alone in the dark at 3:08

The screams, the bangs and crying followed
As I drive his car ignoring the gapping hallows

I didn't think this through
How I will never be me after this

Why did I let go of me and cling on to this?
The screams, the bangs I need them to stop

I reached the edge
I get out to push, stopping as it starts

Off it goes, slowly down with a loud sound, it births fire
A cloud of explosion from his car wakes the night

I hear him scream one more time
Knowing it will haunt me forever

Dear Boss, farewell
may you burn some more in hell


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Bleed to Live

Every cut that bleeds me, keeps me alive
Sublime is every thought without you
Today is not better because they are coming
Me without you is death beyond reason

Afterlife will be empty without you in it
I will not settle to share you even in death
You are mine, all mine and soon we will be together
I’m sorry you are tied, but I fear you will run

Can you hear their sound, I smell them come?
They want to save you and leave me because I’m scum
Only you could save me with cuts that bleed
Because every drop of red, shows how much I need you

I cannot let you go, will never let you go
Until death do us part you are mine can’t they see?
Please stop the tears, you know what I must do?
I can’t live without you and I know you can’t too.

Don’t be afraid it will not hurt
I will make it quick so we will be as one
Today we share our last bleed together
I smile because every cut that bleeds me, keeps me alive




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My Wishes for You

Fantasies are echoes of the things we wish were
Distant drums and melodies of days without you
They begin with smiles and ends with sighs
Your existence, a reminder the cool breeze brings

I hope the ground will be so generous as to envelope my being in your presence
Your existence is infuriating and your voice, piercing
Disdain is the thought when you call my name
Hope is a reminder when you walk away

I wish today mine and your existence will be a tale once heard
A tale of two who stood together momentarily
I walk away and spend my days in fantasies
Of you gone from the very presence of me


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God's prayer to God

Life and death are in the power of the tongue they say
Tears and laughter, waging hard with anger, yet you never come
Treachery, pain, cursing and sin are before me and yet the day still beyond me
Where is he? Where is he and his chariot of flame to bring forth redemption?
The day of glory precedes the day of the damned
I hope my words will bring the damned today

I have been waiting for thousands of years and my brothers have been waiting longer
Over the earth we war, sowing the seed of confusion and plunder
In many we dim the light. They see, but are blind – they hear, but are deaf
There is more to existence than this, yet these puny souls believe they know it all
Where are you?

They talk of me like they talk of you
I grow weary of them claiming knowledge of you, coming up with stories of inbreed
And a cross of three so gloom
When are you coming?

I with my brothers believe we are above the wretch of souls beneath my feet
We watch as greed turns to religion and hope to delusion
Or are we like them, the lost?
Are there some above us, looking down at us?
Wondering how foolish we are as we toy with these souls thinking we are above them.

Are we the true demons they fear?
For they look to us as one, the genesis of hope
I look into the cosmos and wonder, are we?
Are you still coming or am I just another fool?
Like the ones before me, who will sacrifice happiness for morals
Leave behind adventure for aura
Even the ones who claim they know better seeking happiness and adventure are bound by principles
Where are you? I grow weary of waiting.



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Goodbye friends

I’m dealing with something sad and it is how to say goodbye to my friends.

The ones similar in the way I talk and the way I want them to hear me.

They are the ones I call when I need to express myself.

They listen not like judges, but as students wanting to understand your moment.

When around them, I get this elevation and freedom to speak on anything and everything.

We engage in communication intercourse giving and receiving pleasure as we change our minds with words of reason and shine light to the dark places of stupidity.

How do I say goodbye to the most interesting people on earth?

Who careless where you stand, but their interest is why you stand there.

They may not make the best lovers, but each one night stand of dialogue leaves a lifetime imprint.

Then they are the friends I will not miss.

The ones that fear I will take on the robe of a judge as they do when I undress my thoughts.

They build walls between their thoughts and voice, to filter the informative bits of themselves and will sum up the sight of a beautiful lady as, “beautiful.”

Failing to recognise her curves or the way her presence makes the sun shine brighter and her voice, tingles in the air like you are in heaven listening to the angels singing.

They do not know themselves as much as my friends and I know who we are.

Goodbye my friends and have a safe flight.

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Imagine We Are In Hell

Imagine,

The real true religion which understood life has been raptured and life on earth is hell.

Think about it,

We struggle for everything, even then we never get what we wish for and must settle.

We are always at war, always in need plus we have an insatiable thirst for pleasure, happiness and fulfillment.

Tortured daily by the emptiness of tomorrow because we cannot see the future.

Today may be a great day, but the greatness seems like torture because right next to the minutes or hours of excitement is reality. We wish our lives are better than what it is now.

Also, if you choose one set of ideas to live by you will face criticism, if you choose another same thing.

People say don't live to please others, but if I cannot find peace in acceptance what else is there?

I tried loneliness where the point of view of others do not matter, but that was a bore.

I tried being carefree, but that also drives you towards loneliness.

Being carefree is a long way around to boredom.

Why do some people agree, there is a hell worse than this?

A place of torture for my soul when I know souls feel no pain.

The real torture is for the living, the real pain exists when you are alive.

The real hell is here.

Find those people you connect with.

In their eyes who you are does not matter, it is what you bring to their lives that does.

With them, you find that fleeting joy even though it is for a moment.

The sad thing is, these people are few and never stay around long enough for a lifetime which in its own is another torture.

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